


Oh God Why Japan?

by LegionnaireLovi (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, FACE Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9223055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LegionnaireLovi
Summary: The FACE family collectively cringes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Also no offence to anyone who ships the pairs mentioned…but hopefully, Fruk and FACE family fans will like.

After the World meeting in Paris, France, England, and Canada sat in the cool shade outside France's favorite café, tucked away from the main street, blithely sipping cold drinks, ice clinking in glasses beaded with condensation. Well, France and Canada were. England was silently fuming, bushy eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed.

France raised an eyebrow but kept quiet. Canada, as usual, just kept quiet.

It was at this moment that America speed-walked around the corner, long legs stiff and barely bending at the knees, glasses smudged and slightly askew. Upon America's reaching the table, England's aura had darkened considerably. Flying Mint Bunny was probably shriveled up in terror somewhere.

America yanked out a plastic chair and plopped down awkwardly.

France glanced at America. England glared at America. Canada, as usual, just kept quiet.

"Soooo," America scratched the back of his neck, "Sorry I'm late…"

England snorted, gripping the arms of his chair and pulling himself up straight. "It hardly matters now, does it? Our day is ruined! You're no less than twenty minutes late!" America looked towards the side street guiltily at the French pedestrians casting sideways looks at the outburst, noses slightly upturned.

 _Geez, France's people are kinda snobs_ , he thought. "Geez, France's people are kinda snobs," he said.

France sniffed. "Well, would you rather we make a shitty reality television show every time we see something that gives us cause to lose faith in humanity?" He looked pointedly at America. The superpower puffed out his cheeks. "Well, at least our idea of a movie isn't some effeminate dude smoking cancer sticks!"

France put out his cigarette and ground his teeth. "Well, At least _our_ idea of a movie is not a series of explosions intercut with gratuitous ass shots,"

"Dude! You are not one to talk about overusing nudity in movies!"

England smirked, smug and secure in his pride of British television. "America has a point there, Frog."

France growled. America grinned and ordered a coke. Canada slurped the last of his diabolo fraise. Then Canada said something. It was boring though, so don't get too excited.

"America, why were you so weird when you got here? Was there a reason you were late?"

America shuddered. "Yeah, Japan showed me something called doujinshi after the meeting…" his brother cocked his head, indigo eyes curious. England and France _awwwwed_ over how cute he was. Then America vomited all over his crepes.

After politely, and only a touch snobbily, being asked to leave, the four nations wandered the beautiful sunny streets of Paris for about two minutes (France pointedly ignoring the pavement scattered with cigarette butts, and England pointedly staring at his partner, stepping on each one with a tiny crunching sound), before ending up another nearly identical café. They have a lot of those.

"So, Amérique, what was that about?" France asked dourly, stirring his coffee.

In response, America produced several slim booklets from his jacket, gagging.

England stared in silent horror, left eye twitching. Canada choked on his crepes, but otherwise kept quiet. France crossed his legs tightly and threw up a little inside his mouth. America shed a single tear.

The table was scattered with doujinshi depicting England, America, France, and Canada in _compromising_ positions. With each other.

England wailed in despair, "Oh god! My eyes! My eyes!"

France coughed, eyes watering. " _Mon dieu_ , the Amecan one is the worst."

America hugged his legs and rocked back and forth, face hidden in his knees.

Canada wept silently, keeping quiet as usual.

Japan and Hungary snapped pictures from the bushes.


End file.
